Play it safe this vacation: life has its pitfalls, but your vacation doesn't have to fall into one. Advance planning and common sense will protect your crew - Family Travel

© Meredith Corporation written by Betsy Rubiner

On their first morning in New York City, Polly and Jamie Kemler of suburban Boston and their 9-year-old twins, Ian and Amelia, rushed toward a crowded subway car. Jamie, Polly, and Amelia made it in. Ian was left behind on the platform.

"I started banging On the doors frantically shouting 'Ian, Ian, Ian!'" recalls Polly. "I was trying to get the doors open with my hands. Then we left, leaving forlorn, shy, and suddenly very little Ian behind."

Thanks to helpful subway workers and commuters, the Kemlers were soon reunited and set out again for the Statue of Liberty. This time, they got off to a safer start.

"Once we retrieved Ian, we went over all kinds of particulars," says Polly. "And we spent the rest of the time making the kids hold our hands."

Whenever traveling with children, safety begins before you leave your house. Study a map of your destination online or in a brochure; locate help centers and pick an emergency meeting spot.

"A little planning up front will keep you from having disasters later on," says Nancy McBride, of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Set New Rules
When entering unfamiliar turf, children need boundaries. Before skiing, discuss which slopes are off bounds. Before hitting the beach, discuss how far to swim.

"Your kids need to understand that you're going to have different rules while on vacation," says Jean O'Neil, of The National Crime Prevention Council. "Rules are meant to make sure everybody has a good time. If somebody gets lost, no one will have a good time."

Ideally, each adult should pair up with one or two children. Avoid sending kids alone into elevators or public rest rooms (use family rest rooms, if available). How tight a reign you keep "depends on what kind of kids they are," says McBride. Teens may want more freedom, but 81 percent of the children abducted by nonfamily members are between ages 12 and 17.

Carry Basic Information
As the Kemlers learned the hard way, kids should carry identification. Ian had none, and he was too polite to correct subway workers who thought his name was Brian.

Write current, critical information on a card that kids can carry at all times. List your child's name, your name, your cell phone number, and telephone numbers for the hotel where you are staying. Put the card in a waterproof bag and then a pocket, shoe tag (like runners use), or a neck pouch worn under a shirt. Include enough change for a pay phone. Parents should carry a current photograph of each child with height and weight written on the back.

Also put a well-stocked first aid kit in the car and in your carry bag,says Linda R. Bernstein, a pharmacist and health guide author. Pack vital prescriptions in carry-on, not checked, luggage.

Prepare For Separation
Teach children to stay in the area where they became lost. You'll find them. Warning children about strangers is counterproductive because this roles out potential helpers, says McBride. Ian Kemler, for example, was helped by a subway worker. Tell kids to seek help from a person in a uniform (preferably one wearing a name tag, badge, or photo ID) or a "mom" with kids. Give kids permission not to talk with anyone who makes them uncomfortable.

"It's OK for a child to say to the grown-up, `I can't go with you unless I see your ID,'" says O'Neil.

Parents who have become separated from a child should try to stay calm. Many tourist attractions have lost-child procedures. "You're going through this once," says O'Neil. "Park officials have been through this any number of times. They have very good ideas and resources." But if you sense ineptitude or delays, call the police. Keep your other children calm and safe--they may know something that will speed the search.

Dress Conspicuously
Children should wear bright, easy-to-spot-and-remember outfits. Better yet, your entire family might wear similar color shirts or caps.

"Maybe somebody's going to mistake you for a traveling circus but, hey, you're on vacation," O'Neil says.

Don't put names on the outside of clothing. This allows a stranger to gain a child's trust by calling him by name.

Use Gizmo's Wisely
Walkie-talkies and cell phones help you stay in touch. But they can't "take the place of parental supervision or good, sound rules," warns McBride.

Some amusement parks rent walkie-talkies. Family cell phone plans offer multiple phones for a lower price, shared minutes between users, and sometimes unlimited calling between phones. McBride recommends using walkie-talkies for smaller areas, such as theme parks or stadiums, and cell phones for activities in larger areas, such as city sightseeing.

On the pricey, high-tech end is a global positioning system Personal Locator Watch that pinpoints a child's location via satellite. The emergency button relays a child's call for help via a cellular-based transmitter. The wristwatch is $399 with a monthly service fee of about $35.

Be Alert At Your Hotel
"People think that when they're in a place like a hotel or airport it's safe--just because it's enclosed," says McBride. "But it's a public place. Don't forget the basic rules just because you're on vacation."

In your room, make sure windows and balcony doors are locked. Set ground rules about opening the door. Have children practice using the key, deadbolt lock, and peephole. Tell them not to open the door for anyone they don't know--even if the person says they're from the hotel. Instead they should check first with a parent or, if need be, call the front desk. Make sure they understand how to use the phone.

Beyond your room, point out fire escapes and hotel staff who can help. Don't assume friendly staff will watch your kids, although some hotels do have formal children's programs. As with any child care, check out the program, staff, and environment.

At the pool, it's wise for a parent to be present. Older children entrusted with watching younger kids are easily distracted. Also, teach kids to keep their room key wrapped in a towel or inside a pocket. They should never tell anyone their room number, though older kids may do so if they have room service privileges.

Have Fun
Playing it safe doesn't rule out having fun--but as the Kemlers can attest, it's no fun getting separated. Fortunately Ian was found safe and surprisingly sound--surrounded by friendly subway workers, talking about the Boston Red Sox.

"He was not even scared," recalls his mother. "We thanked everybody and got back on the train."

© Meredith Corporation written by Betsy Rubiner